I was walking our dog Flower a few days ago and I left my glasses on my desk. I didn’t want to have to go get them just to take her out so decided that I would deal. Well, I was standing there looking at her and started thinking about something that I mentioned in Chapter 4 “My Strange Premonitions” that I “saw two of everything.” Here is that excerpt.
“I was a huge fan of swimming pools. My sister learned how to do the backwards flip, but I was too afraid to try that because I knew I was too uncoordinated. I saw two of everything because my eyes are a little crossed and sometimes as I was walking toward the door to the hallway to go to my bedroom, I would walk into the wall instead. I didn’t know why I was doing that, but everyone thought it was hilarious. My mother called me Mr. Magoo when she saw me walk into the walls.”
I decided to go back in the house and get my phone so I could take a picture of Flower and then go into Gimp (photo shop) so I could add a layer to show how I see the world. My eyes have always been like that since I can remember. It never bothered me when I was a kid so I never said anything about it. I actually thought it was normal so it never even occurred to me that something was wrong.
When I was 27 years old we got our first Windows PC. We had a 15″ monitor which was very hard on my eyes so I started wearing reading glasses to see the screen. That wasn’t a very good thing for my eyes and so I ruined them. I got a prescription in 1998 and have been wearing glasses ever since. In 2001 I had to go get a new pair and a new exam and the doctor turned on a little red light and asked me how many lights I saw and I said two, he added some prisms to see if I could still see two until I eventually saw one. He asked me if I always saw two of everything and I told him yes and he said that wasn’t normal. Well, it has always been normal to me. A month had passed and I got my new glasses, but the prisms hurt my eyes. I was told to keep wearing them all the time and my eyes won’t hurt anymore and I will see one of everything and I have been wearing prisms ever since.
The double vision never bothered me, but now if I don’t wear glasses the double vision actually hurts. I hate my glasses, but there is nothing I can do about it. I actually don’t even recognize myself in the mirror anymore without them. Even though I hate them, I can’t live without them.
Oh and the Mr. Magoo comment, I thought that was hilarious when my mother called me that so I never took that negatively. I still don’t because I am basically Mr. Magoo without my glasses now.
Diary of a Gay Nerd 
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