Diary of a Gay Nerd is the name of a book that I wrote about my life growing up in a family that I felt was always against me from day one. The title is “Diary of a Gay Nerd: Life After Child Abuse, It Gets Better!”
The book isn’t just about my family life, it also chronicles my experiences as a homeless teenager at age 15 and 17, multiple failed suicide attempts, stealing, drugs, alcoholism, nearly being molested at age 15, being raped at age 19, failed relationships and just about anything else you might imagine. I don’t just talk about what other people did to me, I also talk about what horrible things I did in my life.
My therapist told me that I should write my memories down and throw them in the trash. I decided to go in another direction.
The reason I decided to write this book was because I have been haunted my whole life by the memories. Everything is a trigger for a memory. A song, an episode of a tv show, a movie, a scent, anything you can imagine. When the memories are triggered, I can’t stop them from flooding my brain and causing an emotional reaction. I figured while I have these memories coming at me left and right, I may as well write them all down. I forced myself to remember things I didn’t want to, and unlocked memories that I thought were lost. When I finished writing. editing and published my book, more memories came back to me that I couldn’t add to the book, so you may see them here in a blog post, that is if I decide to blog about them.