A sad child abuse story that was shared with me

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Occasionally people will send me an email telling me their story in hopes of either getting it out there, or asking for help in coping with what happened to them. I think this is one of the stories that I was meant to share. The person who wrote this must have had a really difficult time typing it out, they must’ve also really had a very difficult life. I am very sorry that this happened to you and I hope that you are in a good place today. Here’s their story…

As early as I can remember, I think I was about 10 years old and it was night and I was asleep. I felt the covers being pulled off of me.  I woke up to my step father standing in my room naked and his hands between my thighs saying there had been a fly there. Bullshit (I can say that now but back then I was just awoken and didn’t know what was going on). I was about to scream and he said if I did, he’d hurt me. My mom was asleep in the next bedroom and I didn’t know any better… I should have done it.. who knows what was going through my mind. So from age 10 till 16, I was mentally, physically, and emotionally abused by my step-dad. He used to say “If you love me you, do this.. or If you tell anyone I will kill you.”

I ran away several times. I even walked to the police station once but got terrified of what might happen to me as a child and ran home. My mom found out when I was 13 and made him swear to never touch me again, HA on a bible at that. You know what it did stop for a while till we moved into a new house then he started his old ways right back up. I remember tearing up notes saying I was home sick that mom had left him. And spending the day in the closet till my mom came home hiding. Sometimes he would realize I was there though. :/ And when my mom had to work late shifts I begged her to take me with her. I didn’t want to stay home.:(

Listen kids if someone is hurting you go tell someone safe. Someone you trust… It makes me sick that I didn’t. I turned him in finally to the police. But the charges were dropped cause no one bothered to notify me to show up in court. I should’ve gotten a lawyer but I was young and had no one by me but my husband then and he still is to this very day.It hurts me so much. I wish I had someone there to talk to me about what was right and wrong. I was young and believed the things I was told about being killed or hurt.

This took a lot for me to write up and share as I’ve told little to few people in my life at all.  But I wanted to share this in hopes this helps someone to go tell and not wait. If you need a safe house the police will provide one for you. Take care of yourself and your body it is yours and no one else’s. And if the person truly loves you they wont hurt you in such a way. And you can tell them so too. If you love me you’ll stop this instead of if I love you I’ll do this.

Yelling Rape isn’t a joke either and should never be taken lightly… You never know who around you is going through what you are joking about.

-R

If you would like to share some words of encouragement, please respond in the comments.

Some advice for a fan of my Facebook page

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I got an email today that literally broke my heart.  I was asked for some advice and I’m not sure if I gave the best advice, but it was the only thing I could think of that I would have done.  So here is the question.  His name and image have been concealed to protect him. I am calling him “D” because he wants to remain anonymous.

That is really horrible. I am so sorry.

You are still living at home right? Is it because you are a teenager?

I don’t know if my advice is appropriate for your situation but this is what I would do if I were you. I would build the highest brick wall (metaphorically of course). I wouldn’t tell my parents anything that I was doing or who I was with or you know, anything. I would just keep my mouth closed whenever I am around them and not even look at them. When they see how upset you are, they will start to feel bad and try to cheer you up and possibly even apologize to you for the things they have done. It is possible that they won’t, but keep the wall up for as long as you can until you are stable enough to leave, then head for the hills and don’t look back.

Just because your parents are your parents doesn’t mean anything. I haven’t spoken to my step-father or my baby sister in 10 years and my older sister, well we have barely spoken in those same amount of years, but thanks to my book she isn’t speaking to me now. At first I was upset about it because I really didn’t want to lose her, but then I realized that she tortured me throughout my childhood. I was only hanging onto her for the sake of my mother who passed away 19 years ago. She was never really my friend so I don’t have any bad feelings about losing her.

You can start a new life with your boyfriend. Just go with him somewhere else and leave those monsters behind. I don’t mean to speak ill about your parents by calling them monsters but anyone who rapes their child is a monster, and anyone who blames their child for being raped is also a monster. My cousins daughter was raped by her uncle and when he was put in jail for it, she was blamed and told that she was going to be killed for putting an innocent man in prison. She was the one who was innocent, not him. You cannot take the blame for something that you had no control over.

You are a good person, you have to believe that. They are the bad people no matter how they try to spin it. You don’t have to put up with them anymore.

I hope this helps.

Mike McDonald

If anyone else out there has some good advice for “D” please chime in because he needs all the support he can get.