Depression

Do you mind if I vent for a minute?  I wouldn’t normally blog about this because it happens to me a lot, but sometimes I just have to get it out.

Imagine being in high school and the other kids are pointing and laughing at you because of whatever reason.  You don’t quite fit their definition of the perfect human, so they point and laugh.  Well, imagine being 42 years old and people (adults) driving by your house while you’re walking the dog and they slow down as they are passing you and are blatantly pointing and laughing at you.  Not just one person in the car, but the driver and his three passengers.  It doesn’t feel good, I know because that happens to me a lot, in fact it happened to me again today.

There is an apartment building in our neighborhood that just so happens to be a section-8 apartment building, not that there is anything wrong with people who have to be on section-8, but that apartment seems to attract the lowest of the low.  There are mostly gang members and ever since they moved in to that building last year, they have been calling me “Big Gay Al” whenever I ride to the store.  As a matter of fact, I was exercising on my bike, riding 23 miles a day trying to lose weight and it was their “Big Gay Al” that made me stop riding.  It put me in a deep depression and I just gave up on trying to lose weight.  Since then they drive by laughing at me.

What’s funny is that they walk by the house all the time either alone or in groups and never once say a word to me, it’s only when they are in their car when they start spewing all this vile hatred at me.  That to me is cowardly.  I mean, calling me names is cowardly on it’s own, but doing it in a way that they don’t have to worry about confrontation because they have a vehicle to drive away is even more cowardly.

Look, I know it’s not going to be the rest of my life, that these asshats are only here until either their lease is up or until they get so many complaints that they end up getting evicted, but it still hurts that I have to be the target.  I’m sure they pick on other people, but I seem to be one of their main targets.  And it’s not just them, there have been other tenants who have targeted me and they tortured me for the duration of their tenancy in that building.  I don’t know how or why I have become the target though.  Is it because I am bald, fat, gay or all of the above?

I am just so irritated.  I’ve been down in the dumps the whole day because of it.  When I get upset I have panic attacks and all of a sudden I’m really hungry and have to eat whatever I can get my hands on.  I don’t want to blame people for my obesity, but they are certainly a factor.

“It Gets Better!”  I just have to keep telling myself that.

I just want to cry my eyes out because I don’t know what else to do.  I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I know blogging about this didn’t make me feel any better, but it was a step.  I’m sorry you had to read that lol.

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God Doesn’t H8 Anyone! God Loves YOU!

I know this has nothing to do with my book, but what else is my book about but equality, am I right?  The Westborough Baptist Church is going a bit overboard don’t you think?  Check this out.

I am not a violent person by any means, especially towards women, but I just want to smack the shit out of these women.  Really?  God H8S JEWS?  Honey, God sent his only son to be born a JEW, so why would he hate them?  His son WAS a Jew!  I mean seriously, get a clue people.

These idiots are the new KKK generation, but instead of hiding their faces with white pointy masks, they are showing their faces everywhere and not letting anyone forget who they are.  They are showing up at the most unlikely places with signs saying god hates fags and god hates jews and god hates peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  Ok so that last part wasn’t true, but who knows, maybe they think he does.

You know what God hates?  He hates bigotry!  That’s what he hates.  If there is a God, he doesn’t want people fighting among themselves, he wants them to get along and to be peaceful because God is loving… that is if he exists.  I’m not saying he does and I’m not saying he doesn’t, all I’m saying is that if there was a God, he wouldn’t want these morons corrupting his creation like this.

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be

– The Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston

I believe that Whitney Houston had the right answer.  The children are the future, teach them well.  Well, these idiots with signs are teaching the children the polar opposite of what they need to learn.  If those children are our future and they are taught lies and hatred, then god help us all.

Hey I just thought of something, this is a child welfare case, yes?  These idiots are corrupting children and who knows if they might even be beating them as well.  Their children are not being raised properly and need to be taken away and put into foster homes where they will have loving mothers and loving fathers to take care of them and teach them real values that they need to know like how to NOT hate people.

Meanwhile, let’s just commit these hate mongers because it is obvious to me that they cannot be productive in society.  They are the reason bullies are forcing gay children to kill themselves.  It all starts with Westborough Baptist Church.  Raid their church members, take the children and put them in the system and put the parents and any adult who cannot function properly and that will solve the problem.  They are the true terrorists.  We got Saddam and we got Bin Laden, now it’s time to get the Westborough Baptist Church.  If you think I’m being harsh and overly dramatic, then take a look at this video.  That’ll change your mind.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLB-EpOuVAw&hd=1