I got an email today that literally broke my heart. I was asked for some advice and I’m not sure if I gave the best advice, but it was the only thing I could think of that I would have done. So here is the question. His name and image have been concealed to protect him. I am calling him “D” because he wants to remain anonymous.
That is really horrible. I am so sorry.
You are still living at home right? Is it because you are a teenager?
I don’t know if my advice is appropriate for your situation but this is what I would do if I were you. I would build the highest brick wall (metaphorically of course). I wouldn’t tell my parents anything that I was doing or who I was with or you know, anything. I would just keep my mouth closed whenever I am around them and not even look at them. When they see how upset you are, they will start to feel bad and try to cheer you up and possibly even apologize to you for the things they have done. It is possible that they won’t, but keep the wall up for as long as you can until you are stable enough to leave, then head for the hills and don’t look back.
Just because your parents are your parents doesn’t mean anything. I haven’t spoken to my step-father or my baby sister in 10 years and my older sister, well we have barely spoken in those same amount of years, but thanks to my book she isn’t speaking to me now. At first I was upset about it because I really didn’t want to lose her, but then I realized that she tortured me throughout my childhood. I was only hanging onto her for the sake of my mother who passed away 19 years ago. She was never really my friend so I don’t have any bad feelings about losing her.
You can start a new life with your boyfriend. Just go with him somewhere else and leave those monsters behind. I don’t mean to speak ill about your parents by calling them monsters but anyone who rapes their child is a monster, and anyone who blames their child for being raped is also a monster. My cousins daughter was raped by her uncle and when he was put in jail for it, she was blamed and told that she was going to be killed for putting an innocent man in prison. She was the one who was innocent, not him. You cannot take the blame for something that you had no control over.
You are a good person, you have to believe that. They are the bad people no matter how they try to spin it. You don’t have to put up with them anymore.
I hope this helps.
Mike McDonald
If anyone else out there has some good advice for “D” please chime in because he needs all the support he can get.
Diary of a Gay Nerd 
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