A sad child abuse story that was shared with me

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Occasionally people will send me an email telling me their story in hopes of either getting it out there, or asking for help in coping with what happened to them. I think this is one of the stories that I was meant to share. The person who wrote this must have had a really difficult time typing it out, they must’ve also really had a very difficult life. I am very sorry that this happened to you and I hope that you are in a good place today. Here’s their story…

As early as I can remember, I think I was about 10 years old and it was night and I was asleep. I felt the covers being pulled off of me.  I woke up to my step father standing in my room naked and his hands between my thighs saying there had been a fly there. Bullshit (I can say that now but back then I was just awoken and didn’t know what was going on). I was about to scream and he said if I did, he’d hurt me. My mom was asleep in the next bedroom and I didn’t know any better… I should have done it.. who knows what was going through my mind. So from age 10 till 16, I was mentally, physically, and emotionally abused by my step-dad. He used to say “If you love me you, do this.. or If you tell anyone I will kill you.”

I ran away several times. I even walked to the police station once but got terrified of what might happen to me as a child and ran home. My mom found out when I was 13 and made him swear to never touch me again, HA on a bible at that. You know what it did stop for a while till we moved into a new house then he started his old ways right back up. I remember tearing up notes saying I was home sick that mom had left him. And spending the day in the closet till my mom came home hiding. Sometimes he would realize I was there though. :/ And when my mom had to work late shifts I begged her to take me with her. I didn’t want to stay home.:(

Listen kids if someone is hurting you go tell someone safe. Someone you trust… It makes me sick that I didn’t. I turned him in finally to the police. But the charges were dropped cause no one bothered to notify me to show up in court. I should’ve gotten a lawyer but I was young and had no one by me but my husband then and he still is to this very day.It hurts me so much. I wish I had someone there to talk to me about what was right and wrong. I was young and believed the things I was told about being killed or hurt.

This took a lot for me to write up and share as I’ve told little to few people in my life at all.  But I wanted to share this in hopes this helps someone to go tell and not wait. If you need a safe house the police will provide one for you. Take care of yourself and your body it is yours and no one else’s. And if the person truly loves you they wont hurt you in such a way. And you can tell them so too. If you love me you’ll stop this instead of if I love you I’ll do this.

Yelling Rape isn’t a joke either and should never be taken lightly… You never know who around you is going through what you are joking about.

-R

If you would like to share some words of encouragement, please respond in the comments.