Adele’s “Massager” (Book Excerpt for Mature Audiences)


Of all of my childhood memories, this has to be one of those things that has just made me laugh every time I think about it.  I may have been 13 years old during this time, but this is a mature subject so use your discretion.  Oh and this isn’t the actual “massager” but it is very similar.  Same color and same shape.

The apartment building that we lived in had four duplicate buildings. Ours was right on the corner so there were five in a row. My mom had a friend named Adele who was an older woman in her 80’s who lived with her husband and her niece and their sixty cats (I kid you not). I don’t know how my mom became friends with Adele considering they lived in the last apartment building so far away from us.

Adele was always calling to ask if I would come over and take her trash out for her. She would pay me $10 as a tip for helping her, so I really didn’t mind. Sometimes she had a lot of trash and then she would give me $20. It wouldn’t have been so bad, but it was mostly all cat litter and that stuff was heavy. I usually had to make two or three trips to get the rest. It made it particularly difficult because she lived on the third floor and I had to take the stairs because the elevator was too far away from her apartment.

I was over at her house one day and as she was gathering her garbage for me to take out. She grabbed something very strange, it was long and beige in color and had a curve at the tip. It had a little switch on the bottom that you turned and it would vibrate. She held this strange object up and showed it to me and told me how she uses it to vibrate the stiff muscles in her arms and she held it up to her face to massage her cheek. I was only thirteen, but I knew what a vibrator was, I wasn’t stupid. I don’t know how I knew what it was, but I did. As she was showing it to me she said “it’s in the darnedest shape though.” …yeah.

I went home and told my mom how Adele showed me her vibrator and she was laughing so hard that she was crying. Her laughing made me laugh. She didn’t know that I knew what a vibrator was, so hearing her thirteen-year-old kid say that so matter of fact made it even funnier.

We lived in the first apartment building on the left (black dot) and Adele lived towards the end, but I can’t remember if she lived in the 4th or 5th.  I’m pretty sure it was the 4th though.

Suvudu/Laundry Dream


I have had some really strange dreams in my life.  Several have come true while others were just interesting dreams that I could never explain.  I never really kept a dream journal because I was always afraid that if someone ever read it, the men in white coats might take me away in a straight jacket lol.

I don’t know what I dreamt about all night, but when I woke up at 5am and went back to sleep I had the oddest dreams.  There are actually 2 different stories, one morphed into the other.  The first dream I was in this two-story house and I was collecting laundry which for some reason was strewn around every square inch of the house, even on the stairs.  I had to collect the laundry and sort it so I could wash it all.  I have actually had similar dreams where the laundry never ends.  Every time I think I have finished the laundry, I find more piles that I have to clean.  Don’t ask me why I’m doing laundry in my dreams.

The laundry dream isn’t even the strange part.  I knew that I had to do laundry today so I think it was my subconscious reminding me that I have to do it, or maybe I’m just strange, who knows.

The second part of my dream was where it gets odd.  I was standing in a kitchen with a woman who was holding a baby who I would say was around six months of age.  As far as I could tell, the baby did not have any teeth, but she pulled over a plate which was his diet of organic carrots where she only fed him 3-inch pieces of the thick parts of the carrots with the green part cut off, there were a few other veggies on the plate.  I kept thinking, how is this kid supposed to eat hard carrots with no teeth?

The woman puts the baby down and she brings me into another room of the house (assuming it was the living room or an office) where she starts reciting a poem that she wrote, only she’s not just reciting it, she is sort of singing it.  I can’t recall the words anymore since that was 12 hours ago, but she kept saying the word “Suvudu” over and over.

Ok so I know that word.  I am following someone on Twitter with my handle @Xanapus with the word Suvudu so it is not a word I am unfamiliar with, I just wasn’t sure what it was until I googled it and apparently it’s a genre of sci-fi books.  Why is she singing a poem about that?

The only reason I am documenting this dream is because if for any reason I ever do meet this woman and everything plays out (to a degree) and I experience Déjà vu, I can come back to this blog and find the word Suvudu and show her this post and say “SEE!  This already happened!”  But there is a good chance it will never happen, but can’t say I didn’t try to document it just in case.