My Christmas Giveaway Ends With A Winner

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I published my memoir “Diary of a Gay Nerd: Life After Child Abuse, It Gets Better!” earlier this year in February and I had my first giveaway for my birthday in June.  I wanted to give my book away as my birthday present to you.  I actually gave 2 books away.  I couldn’t wait for Christmas so that I could give another book away, but sadly I could only give 1 away.  The giveaway has finally ended and a winner will be announced shortly.

I am very humbled tonight as my second giveaway comes to an ending because of how many supporters I had this time around.  There were 321 people who signed up for the June giveaway, but this one had a whopping 545.  I couldn’t believe it!  It has just made my whole year.  I have felt my whole life that people didn’t really care about hearing my story (or my side of the story anyway) and to have this many people wanting to read my book just brings tears to my eyes.

So I am happy to name a winner… 

Sandie W. of Brigham City, UT.

Way to go Sandie!  I will ship that book out to you as soon as I wake up in the morning.  Thank you so much for entering and I cannot wait for you to get your book.

For those who didn’t win, you can buy my book in paperback format and Kindle format on the Amazon website and for the Nook from Barnes & Noble (paperback coming soon to Barnes & Noble) and as always Rainbow eBooks which has 3 formats, .epub for the Nook, iPhone,iPod and iPad and Android phones and tablets, .mobi for the Kindle and all you have to do is email the file to your kindle email address.  PDF file is also available.  You can also save 30% by entering the code “GAYNERD” at the Rainbow eBooks checkout.  That code ends in January so if you want to save money, use that code now before it goes away.

Any format you buy, even with a coupon, just know that your money is going to a good cause.  30% of all profits will be going to 3 different charities so that each of them gets 10%.  The Bakersfield Gay & Lesbian Center who by the way is running on steam, a piece of string and hopes and dreams, PFLAG Bakersfield and The Bakersfield AIDS Project aka Ricky’s Retreat.  All three of these non-profit organizations are in desperate need of funding to keep them going.  This year in October I was so thrilled to make my first donations and was so happy to see the looks on their faces when I handed over the check.  I tell you, it brought me joy to be able to finally make a donation to so many worthy causes.

Follow me on Twitter and I will follow you back, Like my Facebook page and check in on GetGlue, my sticker should be there, if not let me know.  I am also on Google Plus, but not often.

Congrats go out again to Sandie W. of Brigham City, UT.  Thank you so much for making this my most exciting giveaway.  I will have another giveaway again in the near future.

No Apologies

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When I began writing my book, it was not with the intentions of hurting anyone’s feelings. I dug deep down into my memories so I could write what happened to me in my life. It brought up so many bad feelings that I had at the time so when I wrote it, my feelings were hurt all over again. Even though I had forgiven people for what they said or did to me, I felt like I had to type the memories out as if I were still living the experience, as if my feelings were still hurt to convey how it made me feel because I didn’t want to sugar coat anything.

It took me years to write my book because I struggled with the consequences of writing it, like someone yelling at me and telling me that they never wanted to talk to me again or whatever, and today that happened. One particular family member emailed me saying I lied and didn’t mention things that I did mention and unfriended me on Facebook. Although my feelings were hurt that I was accused of lying, as always, but at the same time, this person has not been in my life for a very long time. She has chosen to distance herself from me because I don’t speak with other family members who she is closer to. I don’t know if that is the real reason for her distance, but as it is we haven’t spoken in a long time so what difference does it make if she no longer speaks to me now?

Look, I didn’t lie and I didn’t twist the truth in my book. It took me a long time to write it and I had to really pull out all of the memories with 100% accuracy which meant digging deep and rewriting as I could remember what really happened. My memories were twisted because I wasn’t sure of the chronology of the events, but getting down to it made me remember everything. It does hurt to be told that I did things that I never did and that I didn’t do things that I did, but that is what those certain people have been doing to me my whole life.

The person who has cut herself out of my life today has not read my book and that is obvious because she told me that I left things out that I clearly put in there. When she has read all 400 pages of my paper book, or 293 pages of my e-book then we’ll talk, but as far as I am concerned, she doesn’t know what she is talking about.

When I wrote my book I had to really think if this is what I wanted to do. I had to tell myself that once it was published I couldn’t take it back. I had to write something that I would never apologize for writing because I know it was true. The relationship will probably never be repaired, but it has been broken for too many years anyway so it was only a matter of time before it all fell to pieces. It’s too bad that it had to happen and I am not going to blame myself because I didn’t do anything wrong. I was the one who was mentally and physically abused, I was the one who was homeless and I was the one who was molested and raped. I wanted to tell my story so people would see that I was able to fix my life and I made it better.

I am not sorry and nobody can make me feel guilty about writing the truth.